First day at school

The foundation stage is a crucial time for children; it sets them up for their time at school in years to come. But the first day at school is often traumatic both for children and parents. Here are some tips for foundation stage teachers on how to cope with those tears.

Picture the scene. You have a new intake of wide-eyed and bewildered little ones, torn between the excitement, and the shock, of the new. For many, separation from mum and dad will have been experienced before now, but the symbolic significance of the first day at school marks a stage in child development that can be hard for all involved to handle smoothly.

It's essential that adequate time be devoted to preparation well in advance of a child's first day. Often, fear of the unknown is at the root of much anxiety and this can be easily avoided through visits to the school and classroom and a gradual building up of familiarity. The two main threads of this preparation are the practical (what does the child and parent need to know?) and the emotional (what are the typical emotions experienced and how might they be understood and managed?).

The position of the child within the family unit can have an influence too. For the oldest, with a cluster of siblings remaining at home each day, school can trigger a greater sense of separation than for the youngest, who is joining his or her older siblings at school, outside the home. While the former may experience anxiety, the latter may bounce into school feeling nothing but excitement.

As a foundation stage teacher it can feel as though the title counsellor or psychologist might be more appropriate when dealing with the tears associated with the first day at school (and that's just the parents'!). These ideas may help to ensure that the transition into formal education can be as trauma-free as possible:

General pointers

Any emotion that a parent or child feels around starting school is OK. They may need support managing those emotions but it's important that they understand that feeling them is acceptable and even normal.
It's natural for newness to cause anxiety. Usually, as soon as the novelty of the event has passed, anxiety will fade.
Anyone crying, whether adult or child, needs comfort at that moment. Stock up on tissues!
All of the emotions felt by parents and children over starting school can be overcome. The key is to do this with as little trauma as possible.
Make sure that both child and parent know exactly who they can talk to in the event of concerns and anxieties, and when.
Allow time for adjustments to take place. This is a huge change in the routines of both parent and child, but with time, both will come round.
Talk about your own experiences of starting school with children and of taking your child to school for the first time with parents (if applicable). Relating as the child you once were, or the parent you are now, helps both to see that you are not 'only' a teacher.

Supporting parents

Explain that they are not the first and certainly won't be the last to experience first day of school anxiety.
If at all possible, arrange for parents to remain on site for a while so that they don't have to leave immediately after saying goodbye to their child. Members of your Parent Teacher Association may be able to help by offering tea and coffee somewhere out of sight of the child. Before the parent leaves, a member of staff could check on the child and report back to the parent that all is well!
Experiment with parents saying goodbye to their children outside the classroom (in the playground or school office perhaps). This is sometimes a key to keeping emotions calmer.
Encourage parents to talk to other parents about how they are feeling.
Delicately broach the fact that at times, excessive anxiety in a parent can be passed on to the child. It's important that this projection does not take place.
Discuss the possibility of the parent coming into the classroom as a helper for the first half-hour each day for a limited period. Emphasise that this is not simply an opportunity to linger, but to show the child that the parent is happy to leave them in this safe environment.
Keep the lines of communication open and build up a visible rapport with parents. If children see that their parents are comfortable with you they are more likely to be too. Ultimately, the message to the child has to be that the new situation is OK and that all will be well.
Recognise that the parent is no longer the only authority figure in the child's life – you share that responsibility now.
If school develops into an issue greater than simple anxiety about the new, encourage parents to arrange activities and events, no matter how small, outside school so that it is not the be all and end all of the child's existence.

Supporting children

All foundation stage teachers will know the importance of a warm welcome for each child every morning. Although there are many demands on a teacher's time, the more often this can be achieved for each child the better.
Aim to work out what is best for the child. Of course parents need supporting too, but for the classroom teachers, the needs of the child will have to take priority.
If you sense that the child is deferring to the emotions of his or her parent, seek ways of ensuring that as soon as they arrive at school they say a swift and happy goodbye to mum or dad and offer something to engage them as soon as possible. Don't let them miss out on the goodbye stage; it's crucial.
Talk about the emotional response they are feeling. It's probably true to say that in most cases, upsets of this kind are not manipulative responses on the part of the child.
Be particularly aware of those who do not express their upset through tears. Their true feelings may need to be teased out in other ways, for example through talking or drawing.
Focus on the positive as much as possible. Talk about the great experiences the child can have in the immediate and near future.
You can never give a child too much reassurance, and be hot on any teasing their fears and emotions may be prompting.
Reiterate whenever necessary that the sense of separation and loss that tearful children are feeling is temporary. At this age, children are usually developmentally mature enough to understand this.
Emphasise the routines of each day. This often breeds security.

Successfully settling an apprehensive child into a happy routine for learning at school is a significant and profound achievement for any foundation stage teacher. Not only does it set the scene for the child's success at school, but it also helps to ensure that learning is enjoyed for years to come. What more can a teacher do?